Portraits of a New Beginning: Manuel Ruiz

«I am completely different now. Going to prison has been a blessing in my life. ... If I hadn’t gone, I would have been dead. ... I was a gang member. I was using drugs, I was drinking. I was heading in a downward spiral.» The son of Mexican parents, Manuel Ruiz says machismo is a cultural barrier for Hispanics reintegrating into society. He was the first Hispanic in California’s Folsom Prison to participate in Inside Circle, a program that helped him learn “emotional literacy” to get in touch with his feelings. “We [Hispanics] don’t open up. We don’t even acknowledge that ... there’s a problem with the way we do things.” For 19 of the 21 years he was incarcerated in California, Manuel participated in Alcoholics Anonymous and various self-help programs. “Before I went to prison, I hated being in my own skin,” he says “The biggest change in prison is that I learned to accept who I am, to love myself and realize what I have to offer.” He says knowing how to ask for is key to successful reintegration: “I didn’t have a problem with asking for help, and I think that made a big difference. Feeling vulnerable, feeling weak ... because I don’t know everything.”

^{* The testimonies in "Portraits of a New Beginning" were collected and edited by Ana María Carrano, María Gabriela Méndez, Olivia Liendo and Tamoa Calzadilla, under the coordination of Olivia Liendo and Ana María Carrano.}

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